Being a mother is hard. From the looks of our photos sometimes, you wouldn't know it. I only capture the very best days and the very best moments, But gosh, it's so hard. And i don't think we talk about it enough.
Having our everyday struggles, our stresses and worries out there for discussion is good for everyone. Because it's not always perfect, and sometimes it just feels good to know you're not the only one completely exhausted... who's toddler throws embarrassing tantrums at the store. You aren't the only one who cries because anxiety is real and sucks really bad, who leaves the dishes for far too long and whose house is messy most of the time. You aren't the only one feeling lonely and isolated some days, overworked and under-appreciated.
I've been suffering from mommy guilt lately, because I haven't been the best mom out there right now. I let the dishes pile up to where there are no more in the cupboards. I let the house get trashed and feel so overwhelmed that I don't even bother to try to clean up. We have too much, and I feel overwhelmed wanting to even start to minimize all the clutter. I feel guilty because, with all this going on, I put my son in front of the electronics. I barely interact unless he is hungry, thirsty or needing a diaper change. He's only 2, and I feel like I am already failing him. I have been so stressed lately, and constantly busy with appointment after appointment with barely a break between. Financially, we are struggling. Which adds to the stress, of course. I'm in a rut.
I think my son is on the autism spectrum, just by some of the things he does, and the way he acts. Which also adds to my stress because, how do I handle that? What do I do? How do I deal? Sure, I have grown up with siblings who are on the spectrum, but as a mom, I have no idea how to handle it myself.
Momming really is a tough job, and we tend to leave that out sometimes. I want to remember all of the perfect moments, but I also want to remember the real grit, how strong I was during the first years because I don't think we realize our greatness as mothers, the amount of unconditional love we have for our children, the ability to put others' needs before ours, and our patience is something incredible.
I know most of us are so hard on ourselves and don't give ourselves enough credit. I need to keep reminding myself of this: if you're doing the best you can, you're doing enough. And if it has being a while since someone told you, then I will tell you that you're doing a great job mama!
